Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee (Part 2)

I've reached a point in my life where I feel it is time to step out. I'm done. I can't stay here any longer. A year and a half ago I wrote a blog post called Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee that was the initial steps of this journey. It's been a journey that I feel like is just getting good and started. For the last ten years of my life I've been part of a religious system that was based largely on fear of honesty. I have developed a desperate need for real! I'm not going to live in fear any more. I'm not going to make decisions based on what you think of me any longer. It seems that the very opinions I've valued most in recent years have come from people trapped in the same fears that I have been trapped in. Inevitably we have done little more than feed each other. I know good people in passionate ministries that are more conservative than I am and I know some that I highly appreciate that are more liberal than I am. Just within the borders of my Facebook friend list is a difference of opinions longer than I could list. Proof we are human. Where I came from people were afraid to even like a status if it was posted by someone that wasn't "like us." "They aren't like we are." What does that even mean? I refuse to live that way any longer. I have a burden for lost people that I pursue with God's help most every day and I have come to terms with the fact that I can do that with or without your help. The time in my Christian life when most of my friends thought I had it all together was when I was the most self conceited, self absorbed, and self righteous. Now that I've come to terms with who I am I've lost many of those friends. The facade was more popular but I'm not wearing it any longer. God made me for a purpose that I'll miss if I focus my life trying to fit in with you. God made me for a ministry that won't work if I let you define me. God gifted me with boldness that I'll lose if I continue to give ear to your opinions. 

Why am I telling you this? Because I love you and I want you to step out with me. The world doesn't need any more flawless, untouchable Christians because they know it's a farce. How many times have we saw the problems with our own eyes and made excuses for them? That's where I am. I'm done making excuses for you. I'm done making excuses for me. The Pharisees were polished but they got outpaced by some roughneck fishermen who didn't know the Bible near as well simply because those old fishermen didn't mind being honest with Jesus and letting Jesus be honest with them. That's where I'm going to build my house. Your life isn't perfect and neither is mine. No matter how much we try to get on social media and church platforms and paint it that way we all still have the same selfish, self promoting, deceitful heart beating in our chests that we must contend with every day. I've tried to make men happy and its a miserable life. I can't live there any more. The last few months have handed me plenty of discouragement but they have given me a taste of what I've been searching for and it tastes so wonderful that I'll never be satisfied with anything less: REAL. I'm catching my "second wind!" The Zach you've been reading behind for the past few months and, Lord willing, from now on is going to be raw and honest and likely outside of your box. You may like it, you may not like it but I'm not afraid of you any more. God has broken the chains in my life. I didn't say cut. I said broken. It's not going to be easy to step out of the politics your Christianity has been built in because that's where we have become comfortable. In fact, it may be the fight of your life. Revolutions and revivals alike have never been carried on the backs of men who were afraid to stand and say something nor have they ever been brought by men who desire to blend and be approved of. We can do this. We don't need the Christian political system as bad as we think we do. It's robbing the church of its children every day. The statistics aren't on our side. The Devil may get my children one day but it won't be because I handed them to him with a blindfold over my eyes that I tied on myself. I want light. I want real. I'm walking out of this place and I want you to come with me.