Most of the time when the word “cult” is heard the Jehovah’s
Witnesses and Mormons and groups such as those are what come to mind but many who
have been spiritually abused in church don’t realize that they were in fact
part of a cult. Just because a household name such as Baptist or Methodist is
on the sign does not keep an oppressive man from taking the leadership position
and turning that assembly into a cult.
What is a Cult?
After digging through two or three secular internet sites, a
couple of psychological web pages, and a few Christian outreach ministries I
found that most all of them had the same basic characteristics listed to help
people identify what exactly establishes a religious group as a cult. I’ve handpicked
six areas that I feel are most important but you can feel free to further
search this area out on your own.
1.
Leadership that cannot be questioned. A cult is
ran authoritarian style. The leader constantly reminds his followers how he
knows things that they don’t, has seen things that they haven’t, and has
affirmatively heard from God on things that are not “black and white” in
scripture. In fact, the idea is handed out that you cannot correctly understand
the scriptures on your own without his guidance.
2.
Mind altering practices. You slowly become
disconnected from reality because so many twisted facts are constantly handed
to you. The leader seemingly has great insight into people and groups outside
of his own and outright lies are passed off to you to keep you from attempting
to fellowship with those people and ever see the truth for yourself. The leader
often uses mystical techniques to try to portray a relationship with God that
you are not capable of having. The majority of his teaching revolves around his
opinion on scripture rather than biblical principle itself. Rather than
spiritual growth happening naturally for members of the group they are immediately
told how to act, think, dress, and live upon joining the group and affection is
given or withheld depending on performance. If one member of the group is
really meeting the leader’s standards he will be publicly awarded and petted on
while those who fall behind are publicly humiliated. Peer pressure is often a
cult’s most valuable tool and no real love exists.
3.
Elitist mindset. The group is often held captive
by the leader because he has them convinced that no other church in possible
driving range can compare to how holy and pleasing to God his methods are. Cults
usually do not fellowship with any other churches because no other group ever
seems to measure up. The leader is never open or honest about his own downfalls
because he doesn’t believe he has any. A large percentage of his teachings is
self focus, self glory, and self satisfaction.
4.
The Cult
becomes your family. People that are not under the constant brainwashing
tactics of the leader can easily see the problems and those are exactly the
kind of people the leader does not want you fraternizing with. The cult will
either keep you so busy that you don’t have time for those sorts of relationships
or it will influence you into breaking fellowship with those outside the group
for supposed spiritual reasons.
5.
Money is usually always a driving factor unless
the leader himself believes his own deception.
6.
Leaving is never an option. Those who leave are
lied about to the extent that all their relationships with people inside the group
are usually lost once they depart even if that means breaking fellowship with
blood relatives. Fear tactics are pressed so heavily that most are too afraid
to take the initial step of leaving because they have been told that Satan will
be unleashed on their families. Once a person leaves everything from flat tires
to sick children is labeled the “judgment of God” to all who remain to keep
them from wanting to leave.
What Have They Done to You?
Probably the most damaging thing a cult does to an
individual is to keep that person from thinking for himself. Magicians use the
distraction technique to keep your eyes on what doesn’t matter while they
manipulate reality. Cults keep you so busy on what does not matter that once
you successfully break away from the cult it is actually embarrassing to realize
how much truth in scripture that you missed and how many problems you made
excuses for. Every human mind is capable of falling into such traps and the
fact that you have been there is going to make you stronger. It is of utmost
importance for you not to wallow in the guilt of what you have partaken in but
rather to rest in the truth you have discovered and to make right the things
you have done to hurt others. Let your life become a story of grace and
redemption as the Spirit of God leads you to truth and allows that truth to
make you FREE! The Bible is for you to read and for you to understand. With all
the crooked teachings, manipulative doctrine and brainwashing that you have
experienced your mind is going to be reeling in shock and confusion. It is
natural for you to want to give up on church and strike out on your own but no
healing will come from that. You are likely more injured than you realize and
you need real help from real people who are real Christians and know the real
Jesus. Submerge yourself into the word of God. Put the books down for a while
and just let God walk you through His word. Galatians and Romans and a study on
faith based salvation and faith based spirituality will be life changing for
you.
What Happens When You Leave the Cult?
A real group of Christians with the love of God in their
hearts will go after a backslidden saint but this is most definitely not the
case with cults. As was stated before, there is no real love in a cult. As soon
as you stop seeing things their way they will push you out and ostracize you.
Your name becomes mud as you become the next one who is lied about. Embellished
stories full of twisted facts are quickly passed out to other members of the
group and instead of your phone ringing with sounds of tears and hurt on the
other end you hear the silence that so many others before you heard. You get to
watch as people who you viewed as family, people you served and were benevolent
toward, people you laughed and virtually lived with forget about you and move
on as if you were never there to begin with. The few who don’t forget you just
stay close enough to watch the awaited judgment of God destroy what is left of
you. There is enough injustice in this picture to drive a normal human nearly
out of his mind. The hurt is almost unbearable at times because it is inconceivable
to think people who love you could turn on you in such a way and even more
painful to realize that those people never understood love enough to truly love
you to begin with. Pity them, pray for them, and never hold anything against
those other deceived members. Reach out to them when they hurt, love them when
they hate you, and be thankful that God is longsuffering toward each and every
one of us.
How Do You Move On?
The key thing I would like to make clear to you is that
there is nothing to be salvaged behind you in a cult because you never had
anything there to begin with. Now that you are embracing faith and developing a
real walk with the real Jesus you must trust Him to do for them what He has
done for you but you have no way of knowing how long that may take. If their
hearts are hard enough they may never heed His draw. The key to survival is
forgiveness; true forgiveness that only Christ Himself can assist you with.
Once you reach that point the next vital point is letting go. Place the ball in
their court. Tell them that you have no hard feelings, that you love them and
even miss them. Make them aware that they can reconnect with you in a
respectful manner any time they wish and then, as if they were a balloon filled
with helium that you got at the local fair, let them go. Only the Holy Ghost of
God can change a man so don’t think you are going to be able to fight it out
with them and make them see the light. If you attempt to “talk it out” with
them they are going to draw you into nothing but more confusion with their fact
hiding, story twisting, mind games and you are not capable of reasoning with
that sort of individual. Pray for them but let them go. Trying to continue to
force some kind of relationship that they are not ready to be real with is just
going to cause your family unnecessary pain. You must forgive them, you must
weed out every root of bitterness, but it is absolutely vital that you not
daily torture yourself with what they are thinking, doing, and saying to and
about you and your family. There is life on the other side. Take those lead
ropes to your life out of their hands and give them to Jesus. As long as un-forgiveness
and bitterness have a place in your heart the cult leader from your past will
still have a hand on you. Know the truth, rest in the truth, and let it make
you free.
